Want to know what the writer in your life really wants? Well, look no further. Admittedly, most of these things may be a little difficult to find in any store, but trust me, this is what every writer ultimately wants:
- An endless supply of inspiration and ideas.
- The ability to perfectly transcribe those ideas onto paper.
- An extensive vocabulary and innate knowledge of all spelling and grammar rules.
- A gift for flowing, eloquent prose.
- The ability to tap into universal and timeless themes.
- A knack for creating complex (yet deceptively simple) plots that enthral readers and keep them turning the pages.
- An intuitive knowledge of how to perfectly balance each element of a story – from character, to plot, dialogue, description, etc.
- The unerring ability to create realistic and sympathetic characters that readers fall in love with every time.
- A unique voice.
- Immunity to the distraction of social media, games, TV shows, movies, shiny objects and – oh look, a squirrel…
- A coffee machine that provides an endless supply of perfect coffee.
- The ability to edit my own work without missing glaring spelling, grammar and style errors.
- A magical app/program/technological thingy that can translate my handwriting and will type up everything I write by hand (because I still prefer to write with pen and paper, and typing it all up afterwards is my least favourite part of the process).
- An endless budget to acquire all of the lovely notebooks, pens, highlighters, sketchbooks, and other items I need to satisfy my stationary fetish.
- Artistic ability, so I can draw my characters and design my own book cover art.
- An endless budget to buy books. Because I need all the books. All of them. And a library. For all the books.
- Finally, and most importantly, rave reviews for all of my books, and an adoring legion of fans that camp outside of bookstores for my latest novel and worship me as the literary genius that I clearly am. (Come on, admit it, you’ve thought about this too.)
What about you, fellow writers? Have I missed something that you would put on your wish list?